Out of a desire to be loved and a need to be cared for, we accept the personality given us, by those closest to us, as soon as we're able to understand. We are told who we are, from the very beginning. Unquestioningly, we accept the personality assigned to us, along with a pattern of behavior, validating the beliefs being set by others, without any thought to whether it's true for us or if it speaks to who we are.
Although, not always malicious, our loved ones establish our first mask. It is molded
from the hopes and dreams someone else has for us. We continue to
listen to those in the world around us, for clues as to what is
favorable to like and what we must dislike. If we mimic the beliefs of
our caretakers, we are indulged and rewarded, however, if we go against
what we are presented with, we are reprimanded, punished, shamed, until
we comply.
This is where those behaviors are rooted which follow us, tripping us up, well into adulthood.
Racism, misogyny, hate, intolerance, physical abuse, self-doubt, are
all learned behaviors which take root in our consciousness by the
repetitive statements and actions of those, whose love we feel we must
have in order to survive. We either comply or rebel. Either way, a personality is established, to which we are enmeshed, shaping fundamentally flawed beliefs about ourselves.
Human
beings are lazy. I'm sorry to say it, but it's true. The reason you
only get one chance to make a first impression, is because whomever we
judge you to be in the first few minutes of meeting, is the way we will
see you for the duration of the time knowing you. I have found it nearly
impossible to get someone to reconsider a person's character, once an
opinion has been made, no matter how erroneous the opinion or how clearly the person being judged, demonstrates otherwise. We would rather stick with what is familiar than to live in the present moment.
A friend of mine calls me a walking contradiction because I hardly ever answer the same question, in the same way, twice. I believe every circumstance is unique, with subtle, slight differences which reflect the change in perception, fueled by my last response, influenced by my last experience.
If I wish to see change in my life, I cannot respond to similar
situations with a static, unchangeable, answer. My response must
reflect the movement in my development, otherwise, as an individual, I
stand still in my life.
Sit quietly,
anywhere you won't be disturbed. Breathe deeply for a few minutes,
following your breathe, being still in your own presence. Listen for
your guidance, a steady, strong voice within you, which will begin to
reveal to you, who you are and what you came here to do. We come here,
divinely equipped with everything we need for what we want to do. As
Buddha said, "If you do not get it from yourself, where will you get
it." Buddhism teaches to rely on nothing anyone else says, instead
listen, assess and decide based on what is logical, practical and
presently effective.
©2015 Robert Madden Photography
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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